Built, but never lived in: why you’re allowed to start unfinished

Vor gut einem Jahr habe ich eine Gruppe gegründet. Sie hieß „Funktioniere ich nur, oder lebe ich schon?“. Ich habe den Namen ausgesucht, die Beschreibung geschrieben, die ersten Menschen eingeladen. Und dann habe ich sie stehen lassen. Monatelang. Wie ein Haus, das fertig gebaut ist, in dem aber nie jemand das Licht anmacht.

It was similar with my newsletter. The last email went out at the beginning of April. After that: nothing. For months. Maybe you know this: first you wait for the better text. Then for the right moment. And it doesn’t come.

In September, I opened both up again. No big concept, no perfect plan. One short, honest email. A group I walked back into and said: I’m here. And the astonishing thing wasn’t how many people replied. The astonishing thing was how light it felt once I had simply done it.

We don’t wait for courage. We wait for certainty.

Most of the people I talk to are not lazy. Quite the opposite. They think a lot, plan a lot, weigh things up a lot. They often know exactly what they actually want to do. The conversation with the boss. Their own project. The decision that has been on the table for two years.

What’s missing is rarely the idea. What’s missing is the permission to start unfinished.

Gary Vaynerchuk, an American entrepreneur who talks very directly about work and honesty, keeps coming back to the same thought, which I’ll put in my own words here: most people don’t fail for lack of talent, but because they spend too long worrying about what others might think of their first attempt. The first attempt is almost never good. It doesn’t have to be. It just has to happen.

I know that voice well, the one that says: “Not yet. Only once it’s right.” It sounds reasonable. It sounds like high standards. In truth, it is often just fear in a neat suit.

What perfection really costs you

Perfection feels like care. But it has a price that rarely shows up on the bill:

• Time. Not the time you put into something. But the months in which nothing happens because you’re waiting for a better moment.
• Feedback. As long as you don’t show anything, nobody tells you what works. You’re optimising in the dark.
• Ease. A plan that sits for a long time gets heavier, not lighter. Every week of waiting adds a little weight.

That’s exactly how it was for me. The group didn’t get better through the waiting. Neither did the newsletter. They just got quieter.

A small tool: the fifty per cent rule

If you’re putting something off right now, try this over the coming week:

1. Pick a plan that has been sitting for a while. Not the biggest one. One where, deep down, you already know it’s time.

2. Ask yourself: what would the fifty per cent version of it look like? Not the perfect email, but three honest sentences. Not the finished concept, but a first sketch that you show to one single person. Not the big conversation, but the one sentence you open it with.

3. Do exactly that version. Within 48 hours. Nothing more. You don’t have to decide anything else afterwards. It’s enough that it’s out in the world.

You’ll notice: the unfinished is almost never as embarrassing as the voice in your head claimed. And most of the time, it’s the beginning of something that would never have existed without that first, imperfect step.

You’re not too late

Maybe you’re reading this and thinking of your own “house” that you built but never lived in. A plan, a dream, a conversation you’ve been meaning to have for a long time.

Then I want to tell you one thing: it’s not too late to open the door again. I did it after months. The door was never locked. I just had to open it again.

You’re allowed to start unfinished. You’re allowed to try things before you’re sure. And you’re allowed to completely ignore what others might think of your first attempt.

If you don’t want to do this alone: my free community “Out of the Hamster Wheel” (in German) has room for exactly that. A place where you can share unfinished thoughts without anyone having to have an answer ready straight away. You’re welcome to simply drop by here.

And if you’d rather start on your own first: write down your fifty per cent plan today. That’s all it takes for today.

Warmly,
Thorsten

Written by Thorsten Enderlin