Nothing is broken.
That is exactly the problem.
You are not in crisis. You are not ill. From the outside your life looks exactly the way it is supposed to look. And still, some evenings you sit in the car outside your own house for one more minute before you go in.
That is the point at which people come to me. Not because something has collapsed, but because nothing is collapsing and it still feels wrong.
I do not know whether this goes away on its own.
I am not telling you it gets worse. I do not know that. What I do know is what people who waited a long time tell me.
- You make decisions out of expectation rather than conviction, and you only notice afterwards.
- You get good at things you never actually wanted.
- You are available to everyone. Least of all to yourself.
- And you have stopped asking whether this is it, because the answer might be uncomfortable.
- The next goal was supposed to fix it. It arrived. Three days later it felt normal again.
- From the outside everything is measurable, and everything adds up. On the inside nobody measures, and there it does not add up.
- When someone asks who you are, you tell them what you do.
- You are good at starting and good at holding out. Arriving is the part you are not good at.
- There is no reason to complain. That is exactly what makes it so hard to change anything.
- In the evening you are there, but not present. And everyone has gotten used to it.
- You recover on holiday, and three days back in the office you are exactly where you were before.
- You have known the answer for months. You have simply never said it out loud to anyone.
I am Thorsten Enderlin.
I ask questions and I sit with the silence. I will not hand you a set of steps that worked for someone else. I give you a framework in which you make your own decision.
Everything you tell me stays between us. No exceptions and no expiry date. I work in German and in English, online by video.
Not my words.
I can wholeheartedly recommend Thorsten. He has been evolving in the L&D space for ages and fully embodies, to my mind, what a great coach is.
I have just finished my three-month journey with Thorsten and I am incredibly grateful for it. It was not always easy - and that was exactly as it should be. Thorsten challenges you. He does not settle for surface answers […] Today I feel considerably clearer, more aware and more myself.
I am used to taking responsibility, making decisions and functioning. What I lacked for a long time was the connection to myself. […] The coaching helped me to feel more strongly again what I really want - and to act on it.
I thought I needed a new strategy, a new tool, a new goal. What I needed was one honest question. Seven of them were enough to give me back the ground under my feet.
Three steps. You start where it fits.
The first conversation
- You have been wondering for weeks whether something like this is even for you.
- And you do not want to tell anyone anything before you know who is sitting opposite you.
You tell me what is going on, as much of it as you want to. I ask. I tell you honestly whether and how I can help, and if I am not the right person, I say that too. It has happened.
Afterwards you know whether you want to keep talking. This conversation is not meant to do more than that.
Soul Reset
- There is that one thing you have been carrying around for months.
- You have thought it through from every angle and you are going in circles.
- And twelve weeks is not the right call right now, for whatever reason.
- Three conversations over a maximum of six weeks. Enough space in between to try something out, and close enough together that it does not fizzle out.
- One thing, not your whole life. We define it in the first conversation and we stay with it.
- No ongoing contact between sessions. No WhatsApp, no extra sessions. That belongs to the twelve-week programme and is deliberately not part of this.
At the end you have made a decision instead of carrying it around any longer. And you know whether you want more.
Clarity & Execution
- You have read, listened and learned, and nothing has changed.
- You make decisions out of expectation and only notice afterwards.
- And you know that a single conversation will not be enough for this.
- Your own page. Your plan, your exercises, your notes in one place. Yours alone, available whenever you want.
- One prompt every week. It builds on the last session so the fortnight in between does not drift.
- WhatsApp access to me. When something comes up in between, you do not have to wait two weeks to say it.
- Two short calls, fifteen minutes each. Fifteen minutes for the moment when something becomes urgent and cannot wait until the next session.
- Six sessions, one every two weeks. The gap is deliberate: in between you act, you do not wait.
What you bring is time for yourself. Without it nothing happens, and I would rather say that beforehand than afterwards.
Clarity
We look honestly at your situation, recognise patterns and understand what is really holding you back.
Direction
You gain clarity about what you really want and which direction feels right for you.
Action
You act, you stay with it, and you make the new decisions stick.
- 1 Arriving and taking stock. Where do you actually stand right now?
- 2 Recognising your pattern. Where does it begin, and where do you get stuck?
- 3 The baggage you carry. Which expectations and old roles are still in there?
- 4 Creating clarity. What do you no longer want to carry?
- 5 Direction. What do you actually want, once you take other people's expectations out of it?
- 6 Building self-trust. What do you need in order to trust your own judgement?
- 7 Preparing decisions. What still needs to become clear?
- 8 Letting go and choosing again.
- 9 Getting into action. Which steps get you moving?
- 10 Staying with it, even when doubt and daily life get in the way.
- 11 Building stability. How do you deal with setbacks?
- 12 Integration. What has changed, what stays, and how do you carry it forward?
This is not the same thing as a series of single sessions. It is a structure that stops you going round in circles. In twelve weeks, either something is different. Or you know exactly why not.
I work with a maximum of six people at a time. If there is no place free, I tell you in the first conversation. If you start in September, you are finished before Christmas. You receive the full terms in writing before anything is signed. Sessions can be rescheduled free of charge up to 24 hours beforehand.
Three sentences I hear often.
“I do not have the time.”
You do not. Nobody does. That is not the question. The question is what the thing you have been carrying for months is costing you right now. It runs in the background every day, and it does not get smaller while you wait.
“I have already done so much.”
Probably true. And probably none of it held, because knowledge was never what you were missing. The first quote further up says it better than I could.
“I should be able to manage this on my own.”
You do not have to. You cannot see your own blind spot, because it is your blind spot. That is not a weakness, that is how it works. For that you need someone standing next to you.
In twelve weeks, either something is different.
Or you know exactly why not.
I do not know what you will decide. I only know that you will have decided it, instead of carrying it around any longer. That is the whole difference, and it is a big one.
Start today, on your own.
Not everyone wants to talk straight away. That is fine. These three cost you nothing, and nobody is watching.
The podcast
Since 2023, every fortnight. Each episode asks a question and does not answer it for you.
The YouTube channel
Short videos about the questions everyday life drowns out. Two minutes, and they stay with you for the rest of the day.
